Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(619): View more from California

I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.

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(775): View more from Nevada

He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors

(1-775): View more from Nevada

Fuck he won the bet

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(601): View more from Mississippi

You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.

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(970): View more from Colorado

I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?

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(204): View more from Manitoba

My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..

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