So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
In other news, I just burned my penis
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
