dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
It's just like the Real World with babies
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
