Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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