Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
