we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Randomize