i think my tv is drunk
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
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