You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
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No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
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I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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