can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
