I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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