Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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