Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
