Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Is it because I queefed?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
