i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
one might say we're banned from that church
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
