I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
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