You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
