Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
