Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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