end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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