Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i will never coherently bang her
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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