Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
