I could make wine with my vomit
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize