i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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