What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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