Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
