There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
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they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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