Christians are straight up FREAKS
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
