If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.