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if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
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