Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
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No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
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But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed