You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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