so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants