Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.