Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies