Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
