CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Boobs speak an international language.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
