dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize
