I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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