it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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