he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
