apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
