last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
