take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
