i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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