he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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