You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
