exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
