You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
