Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
