On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
