shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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