I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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