I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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