Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
he thought i was a dude.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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