i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize