I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
