May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
