So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
