Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
