when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
