my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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