She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
