Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
