____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
