He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
