Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
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